What is courtesy? It is an act of showing politeness and respect in one's attitude and behaviour towards others.
What is courtesy in marriage? It is an act of showing politeness and respect in one's attitude and behaviour towards one's spouse.
Let me now discuss with you simple courtesy you must learn to be a good partner to your spouse and to make your marriage a going concern.
In conclusion, I want to encourage you to get involved in doing all the above-mentioned tips passionately, by so doing, the fire of love in your marriage will keep on growing. And the grace to be doing them, God will grant unto you in Jesus name. Amen. Thank you
The Bible says in Proverbs 22 vs 6 that Train up a child in the way he should go and when he grows up, he will not depart from it.
If you are a late comer to church you nurture a late comer child.
If you are the abusive type, you nurture an abusive child.
If you are the prayerless type, you nurture a prayerless child.
If you are the type that don't go to church, you nurture a child that does not go to church.
It goes on like that.....
What type of parents are you?
The way you do is the training path your children will follow.
Work on yourself more to have better trained children
The Bible says we should FIND. But some people PICK.
If you pick your marital partner and not find him.or her, the marriage will likely pierce you and make you have injuries and long-lasting scars.
But when you find your marital partner, the marriage will bring favour because you find.
This is because find and favour start with F. And pick and pierce start with P.
The choice is yours.
Which one do you want to do?
Find or Pick?
It must not be done in proxy( you do not send someone to do it on your behalf)
It may not necessarily involve a ring if you can't afford it.
A marriage proposal must be done by the guy and not by the lady.
The lady must give a response. It may not be immediate but there must be an answer of either yes or no.
A marriage proposal can be done physically, or through a video call, but text, chat, and email must not be used or encouraged. When a marriage proposal is made, when the two of you look at each other, it signifies seriousness and self-confidence on the part of the guy who wants to propose.
It can be done between the two of you alone or in the presence of people.
1. Don't let love blind you to red flags.
2. Don't over-trust when you are just starting.
3. Pray about the person you want to start a love relationship with.
4. Ensure effective communication and ask questions whenever you notice grey areas.
5. Do not allow sex until your wedding night.
6. Don't rush things; allow time to test the love you have for yourselves.
Many people assume that marriage will automatically solve their personal struggles. However, marriage is not a magic solution.
As a single person, ask yourself:
Marriage will not automatically help you overcome these struggles. In fact, if these issues are carried into marriage without being addressed, they are likely to increase and become a heavy burden on the marriage.
Singles, please do not waste your single season. Use this time to work intentionally on yourself, seek help where necessary, and build strong spiritual, emotional, and personal foundations before marriage.
Thank you, and may God bless you all.
In our generation, there are many debates about whether sex before marriage is acceptable. Is it truly permitted? The answer is No. Below are important reasons why sex should not be allowed before marriage.
Conclusion:
No matter the pressure you face, always stand your ground and refuse sex before marriage. May God grant you the grace to remain firm and pure, in Jesus’ name. Amen.
It is appropriate that suitors should be approaching a lady at a certain stage of her life. When suitors are not forthcoming, it implies something is wrong somewhere. There are many ladies who are very beautiful, but no man is forthcoming for a love relationship. Some ladies are well-to-do, but no man is interested in them. This piece is to examine what may likely be the causes why suitors are not forthcoming:
1. Character defect:
No man can get attracted to a lady with a character defect. There are some questions I want to ask you now in relation to your character, and I will want you to have sincere answers to them:
I can still go on like that because there are still more character defects a lady can have. If you know you have a character deficiency, kindly work on yourself.
2. Spiritual cause:
There are times when the issue may be spiritual. But one has to be so sure of this to tackle the situation in a spiritual way. Have you ever noticed any sequence of late marriage or divorce in your family lineage? If there is none, then your situation may likely not be spiritual. But if there is, you need to tackle the situation spiritually.
How can you go about it spiritually? You need to pray, fast and go to God for a solution. The Bible say we should call upon him (Jeremiah 33 vs 3). You need to be spending time in the place of prayer to tackle the ugly situation. Once you are persistent in praying to God, He will surely answer your prayer and provide you with your own missing rib.
3. Wrong association:
When you are not associating with the right people, the people who may be interested in you may not see you. The question is who are the people you associate with?
There are some people who associate with married people only. This is not too good. They have already married. As a single, you are meant to mingle with your fellow singles more. In their midst is where you can see someone who may be interested in you.
More so, what do the people you associate with say about the opposite sex? Are you walking with people who have a negative mindset about the opposite sex? Are they the type that always say women are bad? Or men are not good?
If you are associating with people of this negative mindset, it can indirectly influence you. How? It can make you develop the wrong mindset or hatred for the opposite sex, which may chase suitors away from you. Kindly review your association to determine if you are to maintain it or leave it.
4. God's time factor:
The Bible says there is time for everything under the sun (Ecclesiastes 3 vs 1). It further says God makes everything beautiful in His own time (Ecclesiastes 3 vs 11).
Do you know that the right man may not come if it is not yet God's time? God has not forgotten anyone. It is just our duty to patiently wait for the right time He has designed to make things happen in our lives at His own time. Never be desperate or want to force the time to happen.
It is my prayer that the grace to patiently wait for God's time will rest upon you in Jesus name. Amen
5. Lack of attraction:
There is this general advice that is always given to a person who wants to get married that he or she must not choose based on physical attraction. This is true because physical features will fade with age.
However, to start a love relationship with someone, something must attract you to the person. It may not necessarily be physical attraction, but there must be a sense of attraction towards each other.
For you to get attracted to a man, let me ask you the following questions:
Kindly answer all the above-mentioned questions sincerely and carefully meditate on all that you have read. This will help you know where to work more on yourself. Thank you
When in a love relationship/marriage, you and your partner must be intentional about your public conduct and comportment.
Neither of you must behave irrationally towards the other when in public.
You must ensure you respect each other when in public space.
Anytime you're both in public, people are watching and noticing your responses and behaviour to each other.
Whenever you are both in public, you have to take note of the following:
Insulting, fighting, and embarrassing yourselves in public will affect your public image.
It can have a negative impact on your love relationship and personality.
It will not make people respect you.
It will cause disgrace for both of you.
Both of you must learn to comport and conduct yourselves whenever you are in public.
Thank you
When many are in love, they are lost in love.
All that the partner does is right and perfect.
There is nothing anyone says that they would listen to.
The red flags manifesting can never be seen.
Both would be swimming in the ocean of love.
However, it is good to be in love but do not be carried away by the aura of love you are experiencing.
Be sensitive to the stain available in the love.
Do not go too far before you identify the stain.
Whenever someone calls your attention to a stain on your partner, do not ignore it.
Verify if it is a stain that can be washed away or a permanent one.
Whenever you are in the ocean of love, put on safetymeasure to guide against being drawn in it.
Love is good but test it with time.
1. A love relationship is not meant for children and teenagers (anyone under 20 years).
2. Be emotionally, psychologically, mentally, and spiritually mature before starting a love relationship. This is to avoid heartbreak and prevent a bad experience.
3. As a man, ensure you have a stable source of income before you start a love relationship.
4. Avoid starting a love relationship when you are still in secondary school and a tertiary institution because it will affect you academically. Focus on one thing at a time.
5. If you are not interested in getting married, it is advisable not to get involved in a love relationship.
6. It is only advisable to start a love relationship when you have prayed about the person and convinced he or she is God's will for your life.
7. Don't involve sex in your love relationship to avoid unwanted pregnancy, giving birth out of wedlock, sexually-transmitted diseases, as they can have negative impacts on your life in the long run.
8. Get an experienced mentor to guide you whenever you want to start your love relationship.
9. Do not be desperate to start a love relationship because you may fall into the wrong hands.
10. Anytime you experience a heartbreak, it is not advisable to start another love relationship immediately. You need to give yourself a break to heal from the trauma.
11. Ensure you acquire the right and appropriate knowledge and information about a love relationship before you delve into it.
Thank you
1. When you don't have inner peace of mind whenever you see or think about your partner.
2. You get scared and not comfortable whenever you are around the person.
3. If it seems you are the one forcing yourself on the person or forcing the relationship to work. No commensurate commitment from the other person.
4. When the person sees you as a sex object or sex machine. It is only sex he or she wants from you.
5. If you are the only one giving in the relationship.
6. If the person does not respect you or your opinion.
7. If the person gives more attention to his or her mobile phone rather than to you.
8. If the person physically and emotionally abuses you.
9. If the person has never said I am sorry and I love you to you before.
10. If the person constantly embarrasses you in public.
11. The person doesn't appreciate your kind gesture, but talks it down.
12. If the person is bent on not ready to change in his or her character flaws.
13. When the person does not have you or inculcate you into his or her future plans.
14. When the person places his or her opposite-sex friends above you.
15. When the person is a cheat and promiscuous.
16. When there is no trust in the love relationship.
Thank you
1. When you are ready to start a love relationship with anyone that comes your way without doing proper investigation on the person.
2. You will consistently be putting yourself under pressure to start a love relationship.
3. When you give yourself a short time to marry without allowing time to test the love you both have for each other.
4. You don't listen and pay attention when people are calling your attention to red flags in your love relationship.
5. You allow sex in your love relationship to keep it.
6. You always want to start another love relationship immediately after every heartbreak.
7. You are ready to endure abuse and maltreatment just to marry a particular person.
8. When you see red flag as no issue.
A desperate person usually ends up in the hands of the wrong person and the wrong relationship.
Don't be desperate!
Thank you
It is not everyone who keeps quiet when angry that is a fool. When anger arises in you, and you calm yourself, it does not mean you are weak. It is all about emotional intelligence.
Sauciness is an enemy of successful marriage. When you don't know how to talk and control your mouth, you may likely have a problem in your marriage.
Train your mouth to speak less. Learn to control your tongue. It is not every word you respond to. When you talk too much or respond to every word, it is an act of weakness.
Let pleasant, encouraging and inspiring words be what will be proceeding from your mouth to your partner.
When your spouse makes you angry, do not respond but calm down. Process what you will say. Do not respond in anger as it will escalate the matter. And keeping quiet does not show you as a fool, but as the mature and stronger partner.
Many couples have used their mouth to destroy their partners and their marriage. Do not be like them. Rather, use your mouth to build your partner and marriage.
Thank you
As you are searching for a marital life partner, take note of the following:
1. Never rush to choose.
2. Involve God by praying for guidance.
3. Do not use your wisdom or human reason to make your final decision.
4. Do not choose someone who has the same weakness as you.
5. Do not choose someone who does not have the strength for your weakness.
6. Ensure you allow time to test your love for each other before you get married.
7. It is not only love that matters in making a marital choice. To learn more about other criteria, click on the link below and read Chapter 8 of the book titled How to make the right marital choice in life.
8. Do not get carried away by material things and physical appearance.
9. Do not choose someone who does not love and fear God.
10. Have a mentor to guide you. You cannot make a marital decision alone. You need guidance.
11. Do not allow sex until you get married.
12. Read books on love relationship and marriage and also attend seminars.
It is my prayer for you that you will not fall into the wrong hands in Jesus name.
Amen.
As you start giving birth in marriage, couples must take note of the following
1. Do not shout at your spouse in front of your children.
2. Do not argue or quarrel in their presence.
3. Never use foul language in their presence to each other.
4. Do not be settling dispute or conflicts in their presence.
5. Do not correct your spouse in their presence.
6. Be doing things together in their presence.
7. Be praying together with them and let them take charge of the prayer session sometimes.
8. Be correcting and disciplining them together.
9. Never caution your spouse in their presence when he or she is scolding and disciplining them.
10. Be eating together as a family.
11. Be gisting and talking together as a family.
12. Do not do bad things in their presence. They will start copying you.
13. Get involved in their academics by checking their school books and visiting them unexpectedly in school.
14. Be a friend to their school teacher. This will make you know more about your child outside the home.
15. Be involved in their day-to-day activities. Know where they go. And it must be with your consent.
16. Be a friend to your children. This will make you know them well, know their friends and know their secrets.
17. Be doing house chores together.
18. Whatever you ask them to do, do it first. Be as I do parent and not do as I say parent.
19. Do not let them use a mobile phone early. And whenever you give them, be monitoring the mobile phone.
20. Never curse your children no matter how angry you are.
21. Be providing for them and not let them be the ones fending for themselves. This will make them get unnecessarily exposed to societal vices.
22. Avoid sexual intercourse, kissing, and caressing in their presence or around them.
23. Take their spiritual growth seriously. Never let them stay at home when you are going to church. Always go with them. And whenever you come back home, ask them questions about what they have done in the church.
24. Let them see you and your spouse as friends. And see you both as being transparent to each other.
25. It is not always that you use a cane to discipline them. Let the usage of words be more. Learn to talk to them.
26. Whenever you finish disciplining them, learn to talk to them afterwards to have a discussion on the matter that led to the discipline.
27. Be going out together once in a while for public functions, to watch cinemas, to visit friends, etc.
28. Monitor what they watch on TV, and the Internet
It is my prayer that your marriage will continue to flourish in Jesus name
Amen.
1. The expenses will be more than the income
2. Always borrowing to argument his or her income.
3. He or she will be in debt.
4. Always buying everything he or she sees. He or she buys what he wants and needs.
5. He or she does not have any savings.
6. As his or her income increases, the expenses also increase.
7. He or she always wants to buy whatever is in vogue or trending.
8. He or she is not interested in cutting his or her expenses.
9. He or she always wants to do things to impress and prove to others. Always want to live large
10. Whenever his or her friends do anything, he or she must also do the same. He or she is into a competitive lifestyle.
11. He or she is always materialistic.
12. When spending, he or she does not think of the future but the present.
13. Always eating out and does not like cooking at home.
14. The belief of the person is that if you do not spend, another money will not come.
15. He or she does not believe in having a budget to plan with.
16. He or she will not finish paying one debt before collecting another one.
17. The person prefers buying things from expensive outlets in the name of wanting to buy quality.
Being prudent does not mean you are stingy. It implies you are wise and not wasteful in spending. If you want to be financially stable and independent, you must ensure that if you cannot grow your income, you cut your expenses. Be reasonable in your spending. Grow your income and never allow your expenses grow at the same rate as your income. Thank you.
When you say you love someone, it implies the following:
When you say you are in love and you cannot give and do all the above-mentioned, you are not in love.
4 ways to avoid conflict in your love relationship
Are you tired of having issues with your partner?
Do you want peace in your relationship or marriage?
Learn to do these four things:
1. Learn to say sorry whenever you are at fault
2. Identify the dislikes of your partner and avoid doing them.
3. Avoid making the same error/mistake repeatedly.
4. Whenever your spouse is angry, keep calm and never alter any word that can aggravate issues. This is because two wrongs cannot make a right.
With these 4 steps, peace is guaranteed in your love relationship and marriage.