What to learn

What is courtesy? It is an act of showing politeness and respect in one's attitude and behaviour towards others.

What is courtesy in marriage? It is an act of showing politeness and respect in one's attitude and behaviour towards one's spouse.

Let me now discuss with you simple courtesy you must learn to be a good partner to your spouse and to make your marriage a going concern.

1. Learn to greet in the morning when you wake up, and when you are greeted, you must respond.
2. Learn to say goodbye whenever you are going out and not just leave without telling your spouse.
3. Learn to respond whenever your spouse is talking to you. Don't just keep mute. It is always annoying.
4. Learn to greet whenever you are back from work or an outing. And when you are greeted, respond.
5. Learn to appreciate your spouse whenever he or she does something good. It must not be when he or she does something bad that you must be talking or condemning. Appreciate and commend whenever he or she does good things.
6. Learn to say these words regularly: Thank you, Please, I love you, Excuse me, I am sorry, I miss you, You are looking good, You are the best, and any other romantic words that will make your partner excited and happy.
7. Never be abusive or violent with your spouse.
8. Learn the dislikes of your spouse and avoid doing them. This will prevent conflicts between you.
9. Never repeat the same mistake over and over again. This will also make you quarrel less.
10. Learn the likes of your spouse and do them. This will make your partner love you more.
11. Whenever you hear something bad about your spouse, verify the truth first before you react.
12. Do not be forced to do your responsibilities at home. Be doing it joyfully without anyone telling you to do them.
13. Be faithful to your spouse by avoiding extramarital affairs.
14. Never have secrets. Be open and transparent with your partner.
15. Whenever your spouse is angry, you are to keep silent to calm the situation. Two wrongs cannot make a right.
16. Do not love your family members, children or friends more than your spouse.
17. Never talk bad of your spouse in the presence of your family members, friends, children and any other third party.
18. Love your spouse's family like your family. Do not segregate.
19. Whenever you are confused or don't understand certain things about your spouse, do not assume but ask questions to get clarification.
20. Never lie to your spouse but make telling the truth your watchword.
21. Create time for each other daily to gist and discuss your daily activities. This may be either physical or virtual depending on the two of you.
22. Create time daily to pray together. Pray for your marriage, yourselves, your children, your family members and so on.

In conclusion, I want to encourage you to get involved in doing all the above-mentioned tips passionately, by so doing, the fire of love in your marriage will keep on growing. And the grace to be doing them, God will grant unto you in Jesus name. Amen. Thank you

The Bible says in Proverbs 22 vs 6 that Train up a child in the way he should go and when he grows up, he will not depart from it.

If you are a late comer to church you nurture a late comer child.

If you are the abusive type, you nurture an abusive child.

If you are the prayerless type, you nurture a prayerless child.

If you are the type that don't go to church, you nurture a child that does not go to church.

It goes on like that.....

What type of parents are you?

The way you do is the training path your children will follow.

Work on yourself more to have better trained children

The Bible says we should FIND. But some people PICK.

If you pick your marital partner and not find him.or her, the marriage will likely pierce you and make you have injuries and long-lasting scars.

But when you find your marital partner, the marriage will bring favour because you find.

This is because find and favour start with F. And pick and pierce start with P.

The choice is yours.

Which one do you want to do?

Find or Pick?

It must not be done in proxy( you do not send someone to do it on your behalf)

It may not necessarily involve a ring if you can't afford it.

A marriage proposal must be done by the guy and not by the lady.

The lady must give a response. It may not be immediate but there must be an answer of either yes or no.

A marriage proposal can be done physically, or through a video call, but text, chat, and email must not be used or encouraged. When a marriage proposal is made, when the two of you look at each other, it signifies seriousness and self-confidence on the part of the guy who wants to propose.

It can be done between the two of you alone or in the presence of people.

1. Don't let love blind you to red flags.

2. Don't over-trust when you are just starting.

3. Pray about the person you want to start a love relationship with.

4. Ensure effective communication and ask questions whenever you notice grey areas.

5. Do not allow sex until your wedding night.

6. Don't rush things; allow time to test the love you have for yourselves.

Many people assume that marriage will automatically solve their personal struggles. However, marriage is not a magic solution.

As a single person, ask yourself:

• Are you struggling to develop a consistent prayer life?
• Are you struggling to study the Word of God?
• Are you struggling with time management?
• Are you struggling with your finances?
• Are you struggling with sexual sins?
• Are you struggling with laziness?
• Are you struggling with bad character traits you are aware of?
• Are you struggling with church attendance, especially on Sundays?
• Are you struggling with holy living?
• Are you struggling with spiritual battles?

Marriage will not automatically help you overcome these struggles. In fact, if these issues are carried into marriage without being addressed, they are likely to increase and become a heavy burden on the marriage.

Singles, please do not waste your single season. Use this time to work intentionally on yourself, seek help where necessary, and build strong spiritual, emotional, and personal foundations before marriage.

Thank you, and may God bless you all.

In our generation, there are many debates about whether sex before marriage is acceptable. Is it truly permitted? The answer is No. Below are important reasons why sex should not be allowed before marriage.

1. It is against God’s instruction. The Bible commands us to flee fornication because it is a sin.
2. Your body is the temple of God and must not be defiled; it is meant to honour God.
3. Sex is not a means of proving or expressing love before marriage.
4. Anyone who allows or demands sex before marriage is more likely to become unfaithful in marriage.
5. Anyone who truly loves you will not pressure you to have sex before marriage.
6. Being a free sex giver does not attract genuine love; people may only be interested in your body.
7. Sex can become tiring in marriage when it is rushed prematurely—there is no need to haste.
8. Allowing sex before marriage can cause you to lose self-respect before your partner.
9. Many times, men do not marry women they had sex with before marriage because they may wrongly perceive them as cheap or promiscuous.
10. Abstaining from sex before marriage helps prevent unwanted pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases that can delay or destroy life’s vision.
11. Ladies often suffer the greater consequences of premarital sex—do not become a sacrificial lamb.

Conclusion:
No matter the pressure you face, always stand your ground and refuse sex before marriage. May God grant you the grace to remain firm and pure, in Jesus’ name. Amen.

It is appropriate that suitors should be approaching a lady at a certain stage of her life. When suitors are not forthcoming, it implies something is wrong somewhere. There are many ladies who are very beautiful, but no man is forthcoming for a love relationship. Some ladies are well-to-do, but no man is interested in them. This piece is to examine what may likely be the causes why suitors are not forthcoming:

1. Character defect:

No man can get attracted to a lady with a character defect. There are some questions I want to ask you now in relation to your character, and I will want you to have sincere answers to them:

• Are you saucy?
• Are you proud?
• Are you lazy?
• Are you the fighting type?
• Do you get angry easily and cause a scene anytime you are angry?
• Are you the loving type?
• Are you the caring type?
• Are you the smiling or frowning type?
• Are you respectful and submissive?
• Do you know how to cook?
• Are you the lying type?
• Do you steal or have an integrity issue?

I can still go on like that because there are still more character defects a lady can have. If you know you have a character deficiency, kindly work on yourself.

2. Spiritual cause:

There are times when the issue may be spiritual. But one has to be so sure of this to tackle the situation in a spiritual way. Have you ever noticed any sequence of late marriage or divorce in your family lineage? If there is none, then your situation may likely not be spiritual. But if there is, you need to tackle the situation spiritually.

How can you go about it spiritually? You need to pray, fast and go to God for a solution. The Bible say we should call upon him (Jeremiah 33 vs 3). You need to be spending time in the place of prayer to tackle the ugly situation. Once you are persistent in praying to God, He will surely answer your prayer and provide you with your own missing rib.

3. Wrong association:

When you are not associating with the right people, the people who may be interested in you may not see you. The question is who are the people you associate with?

There are some people who associate with married people only. This is not too good. They have already married. As a single, you are meant to mingle with your fellow singles more. In their midst is where you can see someone who may be interested in you.

More so, what do the people you associate with say about the opposite sex? Are you walking with people who have a negative mindset about the opposite sex? Are they the type that always say women are bad? Or men are not good?

If you are associating with people of this negative mindset, it can indirectly influence you. How? It can make you develop the wrong mindset or hatred for the opposite sex, which may chase suitors away from you. Kindly review your association to determine if you are to maintain it or leave it.

4. God's time factor:

The Bible says there is time for everything under the sun (Ecclesiastes 3 vs 1). It further says God makes everything beautiful in His own time (Ecclesiastes 3 vs 11).

Do you know that the right man may not come if it is not yet God's time? God has not forgotten anyone. It is just our duty to patiently wait for the right time He has designed to make things happen in our lives at His own time. Never be desperate or want to force the time to happen.

It is my prayer that the grace to patiently wait for God's time will rest upon you in Jesus name. Amen

5. Lack of attraction:

There is this general advice that is always given to a person who wants to get married that he or she must not choose based on physical attraction. This is true because physical features will fade with age.

However, to start a love relationship with someone, something must attract you to the person. It may not necessarily be physical attraction, but there must be a sense of attraction towards each other.

For you to get attracted to a man, let me ask you the following questions:

• Do you dress well? Not seductively.
• Do you smell well?
• No man is ready to marry someone with body odour. If you have body odour, you can get roll-on and perfume at a low cost to tone it down.
• Do you regularly look good?
• Are you a visionary and purposeful person in life?

Kindly answer all the above-mentioned questions sincerely and carefully meditate on all that you have read. This will help you know where to work more on yourself. Thank you